


Batman and Robin

by ranereins (shadowintime)



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-20
Updated: 2011-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-18 09:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowintime/pseuds/ranereins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny can't decide who is Batman and who is Robin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batman and Robin

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [fandomverse](http://fandomverse.livejournal.com/) big bang challenge @ [LJ](http://www.livejournal.com/). The prompts used are 'funny' and 'dressed up'. This is actually yet another fic to come from mine and sgflutegirl's chats. *EG* Beta'd by sgflutegirl.

“I’m Batman,” Steve declared.

Danny feigned a smile. “You’re Batman, really?”

“Yeah, I’m Batman.”

“Why are _you_ Batman? Huh? Please, do tell,” Danny said, sitting on the couch in Steve’s office, crossing his legs and staring up at Steve with mocked interest.

Steve sat on the corner of his desk, folding his arms over his chest and sighing. “I’m the leader, I have dark hair…” he began counting off on his fingers.

“I have the Batmobile…” Danny interrupted, unable to contain himself.

“I drive it.”

“Because you are a control freak!”

“And Batman isn’t?” Steve asked, taking advantage of the gibe. Danny opened his mouth to respond, but found himself without a witty response. “Yeah, exactly.”

“You don’t have the build for Batman.”

Steve arched a brow and pushed away from the desk, resting his hands on his hips. “Don’t have the build? I have the perfect build!”

“Maybe for SuperSEAL, but not for Batman. Me... I have the perfect build for Batman.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re impossible.”

“That’s what you say when I’m right and you don’t want to admit it,” Danny retorted, an air of triumph about him.

“That’s what I say when you’re being stubborn and you don’t want to admit you’re wrong.”

“That’s it; you are not allowed to drive the Batmobile anymore!” Danny said firmly. “I’m going to hide the car key… and _you_ can’t drive without a key.”

“Neither can you,” Steve challenged.

“Oh, but I can!” Danny fished his cell phone from his pocket and held it up with a grin. “There’s an app for that.”

Steve retrieved his phone and touched the screen a few times before holding his phone up with a smirk. “You mean this app?” He pressed the start button with his thumb.

“Oh, so you’ve got it for your truck too, huh?”

“Yeah, that too.”

Danny frowned a little as he thought over Steve’s smug response. “I’m still Batman.”

“You are so not Batman.”

“I guess we will agree to disagree.”

Steve began to scroll through his contact list. “I think I have a way to solve this.”

Danny brow rose in interest. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Steve selected Kamekona’s number and pressed the phone to his ear.

“ _Waiola Shave Ice, best on the island, prices just went up._ ” Kamekona answered.

Steve frowned a little. “Kamekona, it’s Steve.”

“ _Yeah, I know brah. Why do you think I said that prices are up?_ ”

“We’re not looking for information today.”

“ _Ah, ok. Whatcha need brah?_ ”

“We need you to locate a couple of costumes for us.”

“ _And we’re back to prices being up._ ”

“It’s not official business; Danny and I are trying to settle something.”

“ _Oh, too bad. I could really use a new ice shaving machine._ ”

“If you’re able to locate what we need, I’ll make a donation towards your new machine.”

“ _I ever told you that you’re my favorite person?_ ” Kamekona asked, smile evident even over the phone. “ _So whatcha need brah?_ ”

“We need a Batman and a Robin costume.” Steve replied.

“ _Fulfilling a childhood fantasy eh? Or is it more of a bedroom type one? ‘Cause those are two very different costumes._ ”

Steve smirked. “We’re just trying to determine who would be Batman and who would be Robin, simple as that.”

“ _Alright, let me make a few calls, see what I can find._ ” Kamekona replied.

“And in our size range, no tents!” Danny called over the phone.

“ _Yeah, yeah. I’ll get back with ya later._ ”

“Thanks brah.”

Kono poked her head in through the door to Steve’s office. “Hey Danny, do you realize you car is idling in the parking lot?”

Danny glared at Steve. “You hacked the Batmobile?”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“This had better be a very generous donation to my ice machine,” Kamekona said as he made his way down the hall to where Steve and Danny stood with Chin and Kono around the computer table. “I had to do business with some men that I hoped to never have to again. Next time you want to play superhero, do it at Halloween.”

Danny shook his head at the man and waved his hand in front of his neck as a signal to stop talking.

Kono smirked and turned to look at Danny and Steve. “Superhero huh?”

“We’re just trying to establish who is Batman and who is Robin. We couldn’t decide based on characteristics, so it’s down to who looks better in the costumes.”

Kamekona piled the costumes into Danny’s arms and held his hand out to Steve. Steve pulled out his wallet and placed several bills into the man’s hand. “You also owe me for the costumes.” Steve gave him a look, but places a few more bills on top of the others. “Still a little light brah.”

“Are you kidding me?” Danny asked.

“Those are high quality costumes brah, best you can get. And did I forget to mention that I had to do business with men I strongly dislike?”

Steve started to fish Danny’s wallet out of his back pocket, but Chin pulled his out and laid several more bills on top of the pile. “I got it… I will happily pay to see this.”

“Me too,” Kamekona said with a grin.

“Except you’re not! Everyone is paying you,” Danny pointed out.

“Those are _premium_ costumes, only better ones you could get is official costumes that they used in the movies… I’m still taking a loss.”

“Uh huh…” Danny said, blatantly skeptical.

“Alright, c’mon, go try them on,” Chin said with a huge grin. “Let’s see what my money paid for.”

Steve and Danny gave him as surprised and amused look before heading off to the bathroom to change. When they returned, Steve was wearing the Batman costume, with his combat boots, and Danny was wearing the Robin costume.

Kono let out a strange noise before clapping her hands over her mouth to stop her laughter from spilling forth. Chin and Kamekona were silently giggling.

Danny gave Steve a once over. “Alright, so, can anyone seriously say that he makes a better Batman than me?”

“Um, well,” Kono said from behind her hand, sounding as though she was choking.

“I think we need to see you in the Batman costume and Steve in the Robin costume before we can make a fair call,” Chin said.

Steve started to protest but Danny grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back to the bathroom. “It’s only fair Steven.”

Once the door had closed behind the two men, Kono, Chin and Kamekona allowed their laughter to burst forth to the point the Kono and Chin were doubled over and Kamekona was clutching his sides.

“What’s going on, what are all of you laughing about?” Rachel asked as she walked Grace down the hall. Rachael struggled to understand choked out words like Batman, Steve, Danny, Robin and skintight Lycra. “You’re making no sense.”

Kono motioned them over as the three tried to reign in their laughter once more. Grace ran over to join them without question and Rachael reluctantly followed.

“Now this is what Batman is supposed to look like!” Danny said as he stepped out of the bathroom, dragging Steve with him.

Rachel’s hand clapped over her mouth as she looked over her ex-husband and then Steve. “Oh. My…”

“Daddy, you’re Batman!” Grace exclaimed with a grin as she ran over to hug him.

“Yeah I am!”

Grace looked over Steve, biting back a chuckle as she did. “Can I be Batgirl?”

“Of course you can Monkey,” Danny said as he pulled her up into his arms.

“That’s gonna cost extra,” Kamekona said. Danny shot him a look. “Surprisingly, Batgirl is way harder to find then adult Batman and Robin costumes.”

Danny frowned. “How do you even know that?”

“Who cares, I’ll pay for it,” Steve said, a sense of urgency in his voice as he shifted uncomfortably. “Time for the vote. Who’s the better Batman?”

The group standing by the table, including Rachael, converged and began to talk quietly. After a few moments of debate, they turned back around and tried to pull serious faces but fell just short. “Sorry Steve, but we think Danny looks like the better Batman,” Kamekona said. “He’s just got the perfect upper body for it.”

“Told you!” Danny said with a grin that somehow seemed to encompass his entire face.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and muttered, “Robin is supposed to be shorter than Batman, not the other way around.”

“What was that?” Danny asked.

“Nothing,” Steve said with a fake smile.

“I heard you. You are such a sore loser Steven.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Not.”

“Guys, we need you to judge one more thing…”

Grace smiled brightly and leaned over in her father’s arms towards Steve. “I think Robin is awesome,” she whispered.

Steve smiled. “Then that’s good enough for me.” Steve’s phone rang; it was the governor. He placed the phone to his ear, “yes Governor? How can I help you this evening?”

“ _Commander McGarrett, could you please explain to me why I just received two photo messages of you and Detective Williams dressed as Batman and Robin?_ ”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Uh…”


End file.
